Mother Voices: Real Women Write About Growing into Motherhood - Softcover

From the Introduction to Mother Voices

Shortly after the birth of my first daughter, Bree Ashley, I began searching bookstores for the writing of other mothers. What I found was disappointing. Plenty of books gave advice on how to raise children, but very few reflected what I was experiencing as a mother trying to adjust to my new identity. In this society, where it is so often "every mother for herself," I was convinced that a book written by mothers in their own words would help me most on my own journey. I wanted to read a book full of mothering experiences, to find my own way through knowing other mothers.

I decided to create what I couldn't find. Through a press release, I invited women to share their stories. In less than a year, I received eight hundred submissions from mothers in thirty states and four countries, the result of which is Mother Voices.

I spent the first few years of motherhood resisting the loss of "self." I tried desperately to hold onto a part of me that was separate from my children. However, as I became more adept at achieving that delicate balance, wherein meeting my children's needs supported me in meeting my own and vice versa, I began to stop resisting. As a result, the pages of this book were successfully edited in between diaper changes and late-night breastfeedings.

I started motherhood with a vision of what I thought it would be like, but I've had to adjust along the way. Mothering an infant was very different from mothering a two-year-old. The picture changed again when I became the mother of two, and the most profound change occurred midway through completing this book when I was in a serious car accident with my two daughters. My youngest, Carly Rae, then just fourteen months old, suffered a traumatic brain injury and was not expected to live.

For two excruciating weeks, my husband, Ralph, and I stood vigil over our daughter in a pediatric intensive care unit. This is when any division left between my identity as an individual and my identity as a mother dissolved and where I fully experienced the solidarity shared by women who are mothers.

Carly continues to exceed every expectation any doctor ever had for her. She has learned how to roll again, much to the delight of her sister. She began saying "Mama" right before Mother's Day last year. She is learning how to sit up and sometimes struggles holding her head. But true to her spirit that has never wavered, these are minor details for Carly. If you help support her head she will show you how she can stand up anyway, laughing and smiling while she waits for Bree to give her what has become known in our house as "Carly's standing up hug." She laughs, she cries, and she pinches Bree. There are so many positive signs for her future.

Working on this book certainly supported me on my own mothering journey, as I hope reading it will do for you. It was reassuring to read how other mothers are managing the stresses and triumphs of this most challenging and rewarding role and comforting to read the words of mothers farther along on the journey.

This book turned out to be much more for me than the "Introduction to Motherhood" I had originally planned, immeasurably more than the professional achievement I sought as a writer and journalist. The courage, tears, and laughter in these pages are the gifts we mothers can offer each other. I hope you find yourself here, and wish you great joy on your mothering journey.

A wonderful book for anyone who has experienced motherhood! This is very much a CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL kind of book. The thing I liked most about it, as a busy mom, is that I can a) read a vignette or two quickly b) pick it up anytime c) read from a section that pertains to what is happening to me as a mother at this time. A very moving and honest book. Doesn't just reflect the "gushy wonderful" moments of motherhood. Also focuses on the hardships and disappointments...but the book is ultimately uplifting and filled with hope. -- forman@tcimet.net from Lansing, Michigan, November 30, 1998

As an essayist with a published article in Mother Voices, I was taken away with the powerful effect other mothers' voices had on me. We all have, or have heard, parenting stories, but this unique collection of women's voices is quite compelling. A great read!!! -- tinaamer@aol.com or Tina Esposito from Los Angeles, CA, May 6, 1998