How to Say It to Teens: Talking about the Most Important Topics of Their Lives - Softcover

Richard Heyman teaches communication and education at the University of Calgary. He has published several works on communication, childhood development, and education including How to Say It to Teens: Talking About the Most Important Topics of Their Lives, Why Didn't You Say That in the First Place?, and “We Need to Talk”: Tough Conversations with Your Kids.

Heyman (Why Didn't You Say That in the First Place?) begins his latest volume with an awkwardly written introduction, but swiftly segues into heartfelt and genuinely practical advice. Nudging readers to be involved, love, listen, withhold judgment and never give up, he presents his guidance in the form of a "cookbook," with communication "recipes" arranged alphabetically from "anger" to "violence." Parents wary of addressing difficult topics (contraception, curfews, peer pressure) with their teens will find plenty of tips, including specific questions to jump-start conversations, words to employ and phrases to avoid. Heyman, a communications and education professor at the University of Calgary who has parented three adolescent children of his own, is perceptive about teens' thoughts and feelings noting, for instance, that they care more about what their friends think about their clothing than about their parents' tastes. If attire is an issue, he says, focus on cost rather than style and accept the fact that teens need to dress like their peers. Other issues addressed include the need for independence (parents should learn how to give up control), privacy (don't be too nosy) and the Internet (be involved and knowledgeable). On the timely topic of bullies, Heyman counsels parents to explain that bullying only gets worse if not addressed. Parents seeking the "right" words will be grateful for Heyman's forthright approach and encouraging tone. This book should help many parents to maintain or initiate healthy dialogues with their adolescents. Agents: Pat and Mike Snell. (Aug.)Forecast: Part of the popular How to Say It series, this guide to one of parenting's toughest challenges will find a wide and grateful readership.

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